I’ll take care of you like Godzilla took care of the
Japanese
Every now and then, my father has a fantastic turn of
phrase. I remember in one case when I was
going through some major medical problems, he asked me to come home so that my
mother could “take care of me like Gozilla took care of the Japanese.” That’s always amused me, but I’m finding that
in many cases that’s true of China as well.
I find that most women like to do the delicate work of putting in a
finishing nail with a 50 pound sledgehammer.
You always hear, in business, about how subtle the Chinese are
when making deals, but I think that that’s a misinterpretation of the
situation. It’s not subtlety, it’s a
lack of a desire to commit to anything but to hint at the fact that you want to
commit. In this way, if things don’t go
through, you didn’t promise anything, thus there is no loss of face. If things go further and forward, then you’re
covered on all bases. In China, there is
no such thing as sarcasm, try it if you want, nobody will understand. The same goes for subtlety. They’ll either assume that you’re trying to
save face and that it’s not a done deal, or they won’t get what you’re trying
to allude to. This goes for personal as
well as business, on all counts. What it comes down to though, is when you’re
doing business with the Chinese, if they are on soft ground, or have shaky
footing, they will do everything to safe face and deflect responsibility, if
the deal is rock solid, they’ll pound the finishing nail in with a
sledgehammer. They see your side of
things the same way as well, if you’re more subtle, they will assume that you’re
on shaky ground, something to keep in mind.
I’ve been trying to determine what to write lately, and
since I didn’t really have anything interesting to say, I really haven’t
updated at all. That’s probably not a
good thing, but, I’ve just been studying, and attempting to get better at Chinese. I have accomplished a few other things
lately. When I first moved here, I asked
many expats where to go to register with the local law enforcement, every
single person I asked stated that it was voluntary, and not necessarily a good
idea. Unfortunately, for me, I didn’t
check with those who I now consider friends.
One of my friends informed me that the police had started rounding
people up in the expat district to see if they were registered and were
carrying their passport. Those are two
of the requirements on your visa, although, you’d be hard pressed to find out
where it says that, the only way is to go on the Chinese government website to
find out, if you use an agent, as I did, he’s supposed to inform you. My agent may have done so, but was so hard to
understand, that I’m not really sure whether he did or not. Once you’re here, you can’t just go into any
police station to register, although that would be nice. If you go into the wrong one, rest assured
that nobody will speak English nor be able to tell you where you’re supposed to
go, they will give you blank looks until you leave.
I recommend finding an expat business owner, they have the
source of all news in the expat community (clientele), and they know where and
what you need to do to keep your visa. So,
I got the address, hopped in a cab and went to register. There was a line up for foreigners with a
pile of Chinese people in line, so, I decided to just wander to the front (they
have 3 other line ups to use), and hope that someone spoke English. She spoke less English than I speak Chinese,
so, it wasn’t overly helpful. She gave
me a form that has English on it, but the translation is brutal. It also mentioned that I needed to get some
passport sized photos, and so I wandered away with the form. It took me a couple of days to fill it out,
the directions are extremely confusing, and they want your address written out
in Chinese, so, I ended up just taking it to my teacher to fill it out. I found a place to take some pictures, and
went back. They typed all of the
information into the computer, ensuring that all things were spelled wrong 4 or
5 times, but, making different errors each time, and then I was registered.
By law you are required to carry your passport at all
times. They will not accept a photocopy
or even a picture on your phone. If you
lose your passport, you’re going to be in a world of misery. You will need to go to your embassy, which is
usually in a different city than you are.
Once there, you’ll get a temp passport, then you’ll have to go to the Chinese
government to get an exit visa. You’ll
need to leave the country with that exit visa and your temp passport, head home
and reapply for your passport and reapply for your visa. You will need to fly home, wait for however
long all of that takes, usually 3 to 4 weeks, then fly back.
If you don’t carry your passport, you may be held up in a
police station for up to 3 hours. If you
don’t register you will be fined, and you can be put in jail for up to 10 days
or deported. Most likely though that you’ll
be fined.
If you ever get arrested in China, it is your right to ask
for someone who speaks English. That’s
actually your only actual right in China.
If you waive this right and attempt to speak any Chinese when a
policeman is around, you’re going to be in a pile of trouble. Ignorance is bliss, embrace that thought
pattern. The English speaking policemen work
out of the expat zone, Shekou. All of
those policemen have actually been to America, and actually understand the idea
of human rights. That’s not to say that
you have any, but they understand what you think you have, and thus tend to
give you a lot of leeway. Dealing with
these cops is the only way that you’ll get out of real trouble, which is what
you will find if you show off your Chinese skills to local policemen.
Also, you can explain to the Shekou cops that while you
realize that you must carry your passport at all times, you know that there are
some dishonest people in China, and that you don’t want to lose your passport,
so, you keep it locked in a safe in your apartment. If you have registered, they will have a copy
of your passport scanned into their computer and it takes, on average, 3 hours
for them to find you in that computer. If
you’re not registered, and you don’t have your passport, you risk massive
penalties, or, depending on the mood of the arresting officer, possible
expulsion or 10 days in a Chinese jail.
I talked to someone who spent 3 out of the 10 days in Chinese
jail, he recommends that you bring some way to charge up your cell phone, as
they don’t take anything away from you, just put you in jail, and there are no
chargers. Personally, I’d rather just
register and avoid the hassle of experiencing actual jail in China. He was finally able to contact someone to get
him out, but only because he had his cell phone on him, turned off all but
essential functions, and had a charger pack for it as well. Guangxi got him out.
So, while I love this place, and I do find that there is a
lot of freedom here, you also have “more freedom, no human rights”. It’s actually not for everyone, and after
meeting many who do love it here, I realize that it takes a special sort of
mindset and way of thought to see the positives for positives, as for many they
are absolutely negatives.
For example: You are
always being watched in China, at all times.
First of all, you stick out…you might think that you’re a local, but,
for me, I’m still 6’0”, bigger than almost everyone I see, white, and
thoroughly not Chinese. Even if I speak Chinese,
that won’t cover up the physical inconsistencies. So, you will never ever blend in and become
part of a crowd here. Secondly, there’s
camera’s everywhere. Some of them work,
some of them probably don’t, and some just aren’t being monitored. But, there are many cameras’ that are. I’ve taken to waving and saying hi to
them. I’ve noticed a couple of Chinese people
who find that amusing, but I’ve noticed them starting to do it as well. Truth is, they don’t bother me at all. They are part of the reason that China is
safe. Would you steal something knowing
full well that you are on camera doing so and that you have no human
rights? Doesn’t seem like a wise choice to
me. You are 100% going to get caught,
and it is not going to be pleasant when you do.
There is some sort of security force everywhere you go. Some of them have no authority whatsoever,
but… everyone reports to someone, and if that someone doesn’t have authority,
the next person up the line does… or eventually does. Again, I like it, it makes me feel safe. I have never been anywhere in the world where
you felt absolutely safe at any given time in any given place. I haven’t met anyone here who has ever been
mugged. I haven’t even talked to anyone
who has ever been mugged. I have friends
who have flashed cash in a bar at 3 am, and still managed to drunkenly wander
back home without any problems whatsoever.
People mention how you get cheated here. Honestly, that’s part of China, but, it all
depends on what you want to do with that lesson. Do you want to learn from it or complain
about it? If you want to complain about
it, why didn’t you just contact the police to begin with? They’ll come in and make everyone’s life
difficult, the end result is that you’ll have your money back, and never be
allowed into the establishment or store again.
If you learn from it, and can figure out how you were taken advantage
of, it won’t happen again. If you
constantly run to others to solve your problems, you will never be able to make
it on your own.
I have more to add, but it’s getting late, and I want to get
this off and go to bed.
