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Sunday, March 24, 2013

A confusing or chaotic situation or event, often caused by a failure of communication, an excessive amount of people attempting to accomplish a given task, or complex environment

i find that this definition very much applies to many events in china. 

This morning, at 7 am, i had an insistent, insane little voice start my day out by yelling at me, "I'm tired!!!  We go for walk climbing mountains!!!  We're Late!!!  I'm tired!!!".  i find myself still wondering what the penalty is for throwing her out the nearest window.  she's clearly insane.  apparently, she's decided that she's fat, at 90 lbs and 5'0", i can certainly understand that she's clinically insane, but completely understandable by chinese standards.  so, i took a fast shower, got dressed, and we were out the door and on the metro by 7:30 am, followed by a buy, and by 8:30 am, we were in the middle of nowhere, as far as i could see. 

i was a bit tired, and tried to convince her that she could go for her walk with her "internet friends", and that i would go home, go back to bed for a while, then go in search of a place where i could have an English-erific day.  one that had no yelling, no crazy creatures in my food, no fruit that tastes like soap, no potatoes that have hairs all through them (they look like potatoes, but the consistency is weird and freaks me out a bit....i wanted a day off from China, and i had a pretty good idea how to do it.  she got very upset, and said, "fine, we just go home!", and that's when i realized that it was more important to her than she had led me to believe, problems in communication i would bet.  so, i grabbed her by the arm, dragging her along as i started walking up this steep, steep road. 

the road ran through the mountains, winding up and down 3 or 4 mountains, and it took me 3 hours to learn that it was actually the Shenzhen marathon that we were doing.  apparently, it starts on the edge of the nanshan disctrict in Shenzhen, and the people who go start at 6 pm, then walk for 100 km.  i met a reporter from the Shenzhen Daily Newspaper.  this was his fourth attempt, he was unable to complete it the previous 3 years.  they leave at 6 pm, there's no sleeping, there is only walking through the mountains, "with the stars to guide you", i mentioned that you could only ever see 3 stars anywhere in shenzhen due to light and other pollution, he said that those three stars guided him.  i looked at him dubiously, and he laughed and said that he just followed the path.

the shenzhen hiking marathon is done purely by volunteers, and sponsored by Chinese Red Bull (i don't think it's real red bull because there was only Chinese version Red Bull Vitamin Drink, the stuff in the yellow can.  there were volunteers every now and then taking pictures, and at other times replenishing everyone's water for them.  the post the video and pictures on their website, you just have to find it later.  it was so well organized, especially since it's purely volunteers,  that i was amazed.  apparently, this group is the largest volunteer organization in China.  finally we got to the final 10 km to Sha mei sha beach, and thought that there would be something waiting at the finish line...got into town, and there was no finish line, nobody quite knew what to do, so they all went to lunch then caught a bus.  i can't believe that everything but the end was completely planned out.  nobody knew where they were supposed to go, what they were supposed to do, some people cooked lunch, others went to restaurants, some took taxi's back, and we went for a 90 minute bus ride.  it was decidedly odd.

i finally got tired of Mei saying "Oh my God" in various situations, and much to the disappointment of my parents (they are finding out the same time you are), i decided to teach her to curse.  so, we were walking past a large body of water, and i asked her if she knew how to stop it, she said, "dam it?",  i said, "exactly!" then started laughing.  she's replaced the phrase that chinese love to say, "oh my god" with "damn it", and i'm happy now.  we went through the various situations, proper grammar, and how to best use the phrase, and now she's happily using it at all opportunities.  (sorry....but it had to be done Mom!!), besides, i still find it a bit amusing.  oddly enough, going through things, she now uses it in appropriate places, whereas "oh my god" is used randomly by every one who is here, and it drives me crazy, it's never used properly, it's used every other sentence it seems. 

Mei decided to buy this melon last night, and treat me to something that 60% of china hates.  of course, she didn't tell me that when she brought this treat to my place last night, she chopped it up, and brought me some of this green melon looking thing to taste.  it actually tastes exactly like dish soap.  it's one of her favourite things, i'm thinking of cooking her dinner one night and seasoning everything with palmolive.

i was talking to some brits last night who teach english here and have been here for 3 years total.  they know enough chinese to order, and that's it.  they actually don't care much for the language and are planning on moving to south american to find work as english teachers, if possible.  one of them had an interesting point that he made though.  chinese food here can be a little strange at times, but the strange part comes from the fact that they like to eat a lot of things with consistencies that foreigners simply don't like.  turtle shell, for example, tastes good, but...it's always in the form of a jelly, and the consistency is weird.  you feel like you're drinking jam, and everyone makes sure that you're aware of what you're drinking, i really wish people would just let me be blissfully ignorant.  chicken and duck are always cooked with all of the body parts still attached, head, feet, intestines, everything, so, you're never really sure what's meat and what's something else.  chinese food is actually really good, if you can find someone else to eat all the gristle and fat while you eat the meat.  fortunately, for whatever reason, the chinese prefer to eat skin, gristle and fat to the meat.  the problem i'm having is communicating that without offending, because a lot of times they feel the need to give you the "choice" bits, whether that's fish head, or chicken feet, or duck bill, or whatever.  duck skin is very good, it soaks up all of the flavours of how it was cooked and marinated, but duck skin is also very crunchy with a weird consistency...kind of like cooked skin (odd, i know), and so can be somewhat difficult to eat at times.  it's also not good for you, makes you fat, which is apparently, something i need to avoid (one reason for not losing weight whlie you're here).

there is a chinese massage technique that i want to try out.  i think i mentioned cupping before, if not, let me know, and i'll tell you what it is, i really want to try it, but it's important that you tell everyone why you have little red circles all over your skin so they don't think that you have a crazy disease.  i think i'm going in search of chinese massage tomorrow after class.

i'm beat, i think i'm going to eat, and got to bed before 9 tonight.



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