Random Chinese Explosions

(this is the email i didn't feel the need to send until i had gotten a decent nights sleep and could look at it through less blurry and irritated eyes, i edited out the irritation factor - some of it, and added to it, so, no need to assume that this is 2 day old news written at 4 am...only half of it was.)

I miss my Guitar!!!  ....fortunately i came across a place that sells tons of different types of instruments including guitars, of every brand (probably produced by one chinese company).   They also sell safes, school supplies, strange little toys that didn't pass safety inspections but are sold to chinese kids, and new year decorations (that's right, only new years, not any other holiday).  unfortunately, while i know it's out there, i have no idea where it is, i was very, very lost that day.  i've looked since then, after all, shenzhen is only so big, right????  i think i'm going to start calling friends to see if anyone knows where i can get a cheap guitar.

i sat down with a friend of mine the other day, we were discussing how studies were going, and how to improve our language skills, etc.  i was interested in any conclusions that he'd made with regards to time and practicing, and about how to really "get" the expressions that are in common usage but make zero sense according to their own language rules.  an example of this is the phrase that's currently popular Gou shenma dong dong!  part of it is right, part of it is cantonese based, but it's used all over china right now, spread over the internet.  it's missing vital parts to make it into a statement, and the verb should not be dong dong, it should be dong xi.  it literally means, "What the h*ll are you doing?????", and when i use it everyone laughs, even when i seriously want to know what thought process is behind their craziness.  we came to a conclusion that my thought about language and culture is right.  it drives my teacher a little crazy, and her answers drive me a little crazy as well.  she's very naive, and doesn't understand a lot in her own country, from the influence of the government, re-education through proper marketing, how the history of china has an impact on language and understanding.  the thing that makes me most crazy is that she teaches me as she would a chinese student.  i've explained to her that i'm not under 18, and that memorizing conversations that i'll never have is not useful.  instead of memorizing a conversation between someone in beijing who can give directions to a cab driver on streets in beijing, i want to learn how to talk to a cab driver here.  here, they don't know the street names, they have no clue.  they don't even know what street they live on.  they know neighborhoods, and they know buildings.  so, you have to know building names, the address will only get you lost.  what i need to learn is how to say Xing He Shi Ji (Galaxy Century Building), which i do know, but if they don't know where that is, i need to find out what nearby buildings to use as reference points.

what i find really amusing here is the upscale hotels.  you would think that Hyatt, Hilton, Ritz Carleton, etc would choose a name that is close to what their brand name actually is.  instead, they use names that would reflect well on their hotel, so when an american books at a Marriott for example, and he says, "Marriott", the cab driver looks at him in pure confusion.  it is for this reason that i recommend to people that they let me tell them where to stay here.  they hyatt for example is next to a mall called Mix-C, if you say, "Mix City", they will take you pretty darn close to your hotel, you'll be able to see it.  KK mall is the other short term rental apartment i'd recommend.  you can see the building from anywhere in SZ.  if you say KK mall, every cab driver will just take you to kk mall, and you'll never have to learn the name of the complex you are staying in.  of course, finding your apartment in that maze of insanity is something else entirely, i recommend you draw a map.  i stayed there for a week when i was trying to live under the radar (see "2 weeks in China, and I got arrested" http://languageblairrier.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/2-weeks-in-china-and-i-got-arrested.html - my vpn is now blocked if i log on in the usa, so, i have to go through england...one of those things i don't understand but don't actually care about), and i got lost regularly, i can't tell you the number of times i tried to open the wrong doors, and had chinese people open up and question me as to why i was trying to get into their apartment...at least, that's what i think that they were asking, me, i would have done the same.

i decided finally, last night, that if i could sleep through my alarm clock when i'm truly asleep, then i could probably sleep through random chinese explosions if i was well and truly passed out.  to make that even easier, i told mei that i was feeling sick (lack of sleep sickness), and we went on with the experiment which is chinese medicine.  i'm going to be regretting that decision over the next couple of days, as i continue to consume awful, awful, awful concoctions, but....i got a full nights sleep last night, and i think that that counts for something.  i passed out at 10 pm, and there's some new holes in the ground, so, i assume that they were blowing stuff up again last night, but i missed it all.

i don't know if i mentioned before, but i was sitting in class a week or so ago, and there was an explosion, my teacher was asking me a question, and when the explosion went off i cleverly said, "Boom!", there were 3 or 4 other explosions right after that, to which i replied "Boom!  Boom!  Boom!".  she laughed and asked if i knew what the explosions were for.  i said, "aren't they just random chinese explosions?".  she looked at me funny as if i were telling a joke, but honestly, there is so much that i don't understand going on around me at any given time, that i've learned to just accept and move on.  if part of living in china means that there are random explosions all over the city, i can accept that.  she said that no, the chinese don't enjoy just blowing things up randomly, and i found that more perplexing than anything else, if i was working and had access to high explosives (something that nobody who knows me would allow me access to), i would certainly be responsible for random explosions!  apparently, they're putting in 10 more metro lines, and they will be finished within 4 years.  i can't think of a single place that would be able to fulfill that promise.... of course, in obama's version of america, we'd be looking at 4 years just to get the permits, let alone what the unions would do to the timeline.  apparently, it should be either far easier, or more likely, far more confusing to use the metro lines in the next 4 years.