Use my fingers... They’re more accurate

Use my fingers... They’re more accurate

I probably have 3 or 4 blogs that I have yet to send off.  Sometimes they end up being “stream of consciousness” as I have difficulty getting a nice flow and transitions, or sometimes I think that I should wait until I get more information to properly do a subject justice.  The reality of all of this is that I don’t get one of these off every week, and I feel a little bit guilty for not doing so.  Additionally, I wonder if I have said something already or if it was said in a phone call to someone that I called, or if I should go back and read all that I have written.  I think I should do that at some point regardless, and correct some of the observations that I made that were incorrect, or add information that I have not yet put down, that has not yet come to mind.

I find social networking in China to be completely fascinating.  The social networking is far and above what is available in the rest of the world.  I think people here want facebook because it is blocked, and due to the fact that it gives you outside access to other friends abroad.  The Chinese sites are available in the rest of the world, but I don’t think that anyone knows about them.  If you’re interested, go find the wechat app for your phone.  If you decide to register on it, make sure you add me by my ID “BlairCDN”.  This app allows you to find all within a 2 km radius of wherever you are, or to chat to your friends real time, and share pictures, thoughts, or whatever, otherwise known as “Moments”.  What I find most interesting, is what is regularly shared by Chinese users of social networking (everyone is on either wechat, tencent weibo, or QQ, most are on all of them.), and that is pictures of food.

30 years ago, China was starving.  Even now, when everyone has food or access to food, they still share their meals regularly.  Additionally, one of the most polite phrases to use when meeting up with your friends is, “Ni chi fan le ma?”  This means, literally, “have you eaten yet?”  When I meet up with my friends, for something other than dinner, it’s one of the first things I say, and is asked back.

Eg:

“Ni hao Elaine!”

               “Ni hao Blair!”

“Ni zenme yang?”

               “Hao de, ni ne?”

“Hao de.  Ni chi fan le ma?”

               “Hao chi.  Ni ne?”

“Hen hao chi.  Liange tuzi pao le!”

Or, in english:

“hello Elaine”

               “hello blair”

“how are you?”

               “good, and you?”

“good.  Have you eaten?”

               “ate well, and you?”

“ate very well.  My two rabbits escaped!”

Actually, this conversation drives my Chinese friends crazy.  It’s polite, and all that kind of stuff, but my final observation about my rabbits is based on a similarity on words that Chinese people rarely pick up on.  “duzi” is belly “bao le” is full.  Very close in pronunciation is “tuzi” for rabbit and “pao le” for escaped.  It’s actually a common mispronunciation in Guangdong province, and tends to make people laugh, but only when I mime two rabbits hopping away.  Most seem to think I have a bit of a twisted sense of humour.  I figure, though, that if all of their villages have a crazy language of their own, I should be able to make up one as well, I call it Nanshanhua (nanshan local tongue… the district that I live in.)

Here are the 3 blogs that I have yet to post:

1.

In some ways I find that Chinese people are very strange to me.  In a country where it is definitely overcrowded and there are people everywhere at all times of the day, you would expect that everyone would have many friends.  The reality, though, is that Chinese people tend to have very few friends.  If they are forced into a situation where they have to meet people whether in social situations or in a business environment, their first focus tends to be on making that person into their friend.  It seems odd to me that that becomes their first focus in any sort of setting, but that it’s a very low priority in the rest of their lives.  I wonder if that’s why the social networking here is so popular, perhaps they just don’t have a clue as to where to go to meet friends.  Friends that were made in university graduate and move all over the country, whether that’s back home, or to a city where they are more likely to be a success, but they inevitably seem to lose contact, and since most Chinese people don’t travel outside of wherever they live and their hometown, their chances to remain in contact become very slim, and those friendships dissolve.  Social networking like “Wechat” (in Chinese we-xing pronounced weshing) or “QQ” allows people to talk via the internet on every smart phone without incurring long distance charges, and maintain those networks of friends, however, I still don’t see a lot of that.  Many people wish that they could get on facebook, but I think that that’s mainly because they’re denied the opportunity, than because it fills a need here.  The social networks here are a lot better done than anything that I used in the usa or Canada.

I’ve been talking to a lot of friends here about why we’re here, and what our purpose is.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m here to learn the language and the culture, but, there is no possible way for me to blend in.  (I’m 6’0”, white, and bigger than most people here….there’s no way to blend in with my surroundings, my eyes are a bit rounder than most here too, among other major physical differences).  I have friends here who are black, or blonde, or a variety of other physical features that makes their blending in absolutely impossible as well.  The odd fact is, though, that once you start to feel comfortable, and you can start to talk and get your point across, you seem to lose sight of the fact that you stick out like a sore thumb.  It’s hard to keep that fact in mind, and I try to remind myself of it often.  Many do not, and seem perplexed at the reactions that they get for doing things in a Chinese way.  I think that this is a mistake made by foreigners.  The actual reason for learning the language and culture is to help you in your business dealings.  If that is the case, it’s mainly to put your client or supplier off balance, or make him more comfortable, in order to get a better deal, whatever the situation calls for.  The Chinese have been doing this to us for years, and actually, I believe that most of the world behaves in this way, those who don’t are not as successful as they could be.  Some may call this “manipulation”, but I don’t think that that’s true either, I think it’s just proper use of the resources and options available to you. 

Every new person I meet mentions the clothing the little children wear here.  There’s always a slit down the bum, so, you see diapers (rarely) or bare-bottomed kids running around all of the time.  When the kid needs to urinate or whatever, the parents either take him/her to the bushes, or if those aren’t available, has them squat down and urinate wherever they may be standing.  It’s because of this fact that I highly recommend people avoid all puddles of water in China.  If it hasn’t been raining, chances are, that’s not water you’re walking through.

I’m constantly amazed at how China seems to be an assault on your senses.  While you’re walking down the street, you may smell fresh bread, fresh bbq, very dead fish, open sewer, or any number of things just within a block radius.  You will hear horns honking excessively, people yelling at each other, and random people yelling “Hello!  How are you?” at you.  I’ve learned to tune a lot of that out, although the honking still gets to me at times.  You will see fish tanks with a variety of fish and sea creatures living in them and swimming around, various types of birds skinned and hanging by the neck – all parts still attached even if cooked, children running around with their bums sticking out of their pants, stores selling the most odd assortment of items, people handing you fliers only some of which are intelligible without a grasp on Chinese characters, and people making concentrated efforts to completely ignore each other, yet they make no effort whatsoever to avoid staring at you.

Yesterday, I was hanging out with a buddy enjoying a hot dog and watching the crazy intense rain storm.  He stopped talking and his eyes got wide, but I didn’t clue in to the fact that he was watching a girl so focused on staring straight ahead that she ran dead into the sign that was chest high on her because she was focused on points unknown.  People here walk around with blinders on.  There is no peripheral vision, and anything below neck level is not seen, anything that is seen but not understood doesn’t exist either.  If they’re on their smartphone, nothing outside of that exists, and they will walk into any number of things, most likely, though, they’ll run into you.  I find it somewhat interesting that Chinese people face their head forward and do not move from whatever path they’re on.  Ex-pats tend to actually pay attention to their surroundings though, and can be seen scrambling out of the way instead of running into other people.  Most of us think that the Chinese have a sense that the rest of us don’t that prevents them from constantly running into each other at any given time, but that doesn’t work on foreigners as that happens all of the time.

 

2.

3-19-2013

There are times when immersion wears on you a bit.  Everyone speaks Chinese, and everyone has their own way of doing things.  You’re hanging out with Chinese people all day, you’re attempting (and failing) to communicate constantly, and while you do see a marked improvement, it’s still a long ways from being able to have a real conversation.  You also get a bunch of wing-nuts speaking English at you (most of the time, the wrong English), and you wonder if it’s worth it to correct them, or just develop tunnel vision and ignore it all.

That reminds me…tunnel vision…. It’s a skill, develop it, you need it in this country.  The ability to look straight in front of you and ignore the moron screaming in your ear is extremely important.  Beggars, random salespeople, and really weird people will gravitate towards you.  If you look at any of these people, you will encourage them.  In some cases it’s somewhat amusing, in other cases it’s extremely frustrating.  I was walking down a never-ending mall the other day to meet a friend, and I had some kid walk up next to me, and just walk next to me, about 3 inches off my hip.  I don’t like that, I usually think “pick-pocket”.  Every time I stopped, he stopped, I’d turn to him and he wouldn’t meet my eyes… I wish I could say that that’s the first time or last time I’ll have my own little personal shadow, but it won’t be, and I’m not sure I’ll ever figure it out until I can turn and say, “What’s your deal?  Are you trying to rob me?”  I don’t think he was a pickpocket, I also don’t have the first clue as to what he was doing.  The same thing happens to my friends every now and then.  They’ve had it happen so often, they don’t react other than to put their hand on their wallet.

I took Mei to see a movie tonight.  She told me to go get the tickets, it was an international theater, so there’s some English movies and some Chinese movies.  I picked the one that started 10 minutes from when I got there.  Turned out to be the new die hard movie, and it wasn’t bad, although I think the previous ones were better.  It was in English and Russian, with Chinese subtitles.  I missed a good half of the movie because the Russian was translated into Chinese, which wasn’t overly helpful.

3-20-2013

I was talking to my teacher today, and asked her about the weird guy 3 inches off my hip.  She said that most people here would assume pickpocket, but most of those work in groups of 3 and 4.  She suggested that there was an alternate explanation, one that never occurred to me but makes a lot of sense.  In china, the definition of personal space is a lot different.  I was on the train last night at rush hour, we were packed in, I had one hand on a rail, and the other on my wallet, and a hundred Chinese people pressing in on me, thank goodness I don’t get claustrophobic.  Because of this, when walking, people don’t consider, “hey, I’m walking too close to this person, I should move away.  He may have just been walking, and curious about random foreigner in his area.  That makes sense to me.

I have to say, I love the one on one lessons and am glad that I changed.  It’s nice to be able to ask questions every day, both about the language that I hear and don’t quite get, as well as the cultural things that I don’t quite understand.  I was at a park, or at least a park-ish place, the other day.  There was a mural that told a story of ancient warriors in this area becoming victors by putting everyone else down.  Based on the armour, weapons, and other things, it looked to be about 1,000 years ago.  The Chinese parts of it were identical to how I read the story, then, I found the English story, and It made no sense whatsoever.  The English portion was about Deng Xiaopeng, the founder of Shenzhen, and it was supposedly his story.  The problem is that Deng Xiaopeng consolidated all the villages here in 1980, and created Shenzhen megacity, he wasn’t alive a thousand or two thousand years ago.  The English translation had nothing to do with anything in the park, nor the surrounding area.  There was also a tree supposedly planted by him, that had been there for 150 years, another impossibility.  I wonder how many other “historical” monuments are completely wrong in English, and only make sense in Chinese.

It was interesting today discussing culture in China, however.  I’ve noticed how proud the Chinese are of their 5,000 years of history.  It’s actually 8,000 if you include Zhao, which is the country that was around for 3,000 years before China, and is why Zhao is the most popular last name in China.  Shenzhen, however, only has 30 years of history, if you don’t include the villages that were here for a thousand or two years before consolidation.  All that’s left of those villages, by the way are gates, and monuments to remind them of their history.  This is why Beijing and the other large megacities look down on Shenzhen, call them country bumpkins (or whatever it translates to, it’s not complimentary), and why those who are from or live here feel shame when it’s mentioned.  To the Chinese, their culture and their history are all important.  Many current jokes, or phrases are based on a historical known fact, and until you learn all of what they are taught in school and by their families, a foreigner will never truly understand all that goes on.  I think that you can get a good idea by reading the teaching of Confucius and other Chinese philosophers, but you’ll never get the whole.

3.

I’m convinced that I know how my death is going to come about in China.  It’s really one of two ways, either it will be in a taxi, or I will be hit by a bus whose route starts with the number 3.  I should probably explain.

It’s required by law for you to wear a seatbelt in a taxi if there is one.  The taxi drivers simplify this by taking them out for you.  If there’s a belt, there’s nothing to connect it to.  If you get in a cab and there is not a check engine light on, that generally means that the bulb has burnt out.  I have yet to be in a taxi that didn’t need new shocks, front end parts, drivetrain, tires….etc.  most need brakes as well.  I think that the steering rack is gone on every single one of them, they tend to wander a great deal and you have to jerk the steering wheel to the approximate direction that you think that the car should be going.

Yesterday, I went down to the police station to register.  I apparently need a 2-1” pictures of myself to attach to it, I’ll figure out where to get those this week, hopefully.  So, that was a bust, so, I decided to go down to my bank, and meet with my bank manager.  I caught a cab right next to the police station in Nanshan, told him I needed to go to Futian.  He determined that the best way to go would be to back up on the freeway, in rush hour against the flow of traffic, and then do a u-turn from the far right lane, across 4 other lanes of heavy traffic to get to the other side of the street.  Crazy….

There’s a couple of different types of busses here.  All of them are generally mechanically unsound as well, and generally an extremely exciting ride.  What is even more exciting is the #3?? Busses.  They are paid  to be on time.  If they are late for one stop, they don’t get paid that day.  People here don’t run red lights, you can lose your license, and I think you may go spend some quality time in the police station, 10 days or so.  So, those busses are always on time on schedule.  Doesn’t matter if you’re walking in front or not, they will honk at you, but they won’t slow down.  I recommend that if you’re crossing any intersection, you should look at the bus number before deciding whether to run across the street or not.

Everyone thinks that it’s ridiculous that China doesn’t have facebook.  There’s really no need for it here though.  The Chinese chat programs and social networking are about a thousand times better.  Tencent Weibo, QQ, and Wechat are currently the big ones.  I only use Wechat, and really enjoy the program.  It’s an app on your phone, and pinpoints all users within 2 km of where you are, as well as give you approximate distances.  Additionally, there’s a “shake your phone” option where you can find others in your area who are shaking their phone, it makes it easy to start a conversation with a woman across the room, introducing yourself in an easier way than just wandering up, which can be embarrassing to someone, and therefore a situation where someone can lose face.

I’ve talked to a lot of foreigners here who can’t seem to figure out why they are always dating women using them for their money.  When asked where they meet the girl, the answer is almost always “Coco Park”, and 99% of the time, in some bar or other.  I invariably ask if they look for women to date at home in bars, and why they think that bars here are different.  If you’re 50, going to Chinese bars, and have 21-28 year old beautiful women interested in you, why do you think that is?  The reason is always your big, fat, enormous….wallet.  Surprising?

It’s somewhat difficult to just approach a woman here, and strike up a conversation, even if you do speak Chinese, or she speaks English.  There’s too much risk of a loss of face, and approaching a woman here like that is likely to embarrass her and make her stick out to others, so, it’s to be avoided at all costs.  Wechat allows you to meet when you’ve already “gotten to know each other”, even if it’s just a 15 minute exchange across a crowded square or restaurant.

Last night, I met up with a woman off of wechat.  She does not speak any English, and my Chinese is a bit lacking, but apparently I have enough to entertain others.  Candy picked me up in her brand new Toyota Highlander and took me for a buffet dinner.  We talked as we ate, and then we hit serious language barrier.  The word for “understand” is “ming bai”, I heard “mianbao” which means bread.  So, since that seemed to be in place of a verb, I got seriously lost.  Candy called over the waitress and told her to stand at the table to be our translator for the rest of dinner, which was amusing.  After dinner, and even today, Candy and I still say “Mianbao?” to each other.

The Chinese love to play word games and math games.  I think a lot of it is to do with how to learn something better.  I also think that this is how the Chinese tend to be able to memorize so well.

The hardest thing, I think, by far is for people to understand that the mindset of people here is 1000% different than North America.  We call it “Planet China”.  I know that many people like to think that deep down we’re all the same, and should be given the same rights and freedoms that North Americans enjoy, and that deep down at the basic level, we’re all the same, but, that’s just purely not true.  The biggest difference, I think, is in how people view the world from their perspective.  I tend to believe that Americans, Canadians, and “westerners” in general tend to live in their own little bubble.  They look around them and form their opinions in their own little world, while surveying their surroundings.  An example of this would be driving.  Most English speaking countries practice defensive driving, you look where you are going, pay attention to other people who are actively trying to kill you, aka defensive driving.  In china, people live in a tunnel.  There is nothing beside or behind them, they have their blinders on, and they are focused on what is ahead of them.  Their driving style is interesting because of this.  The last cab I was in was driving in a lane with a car right beside us, he didn’t speed up, he didn’t slow down, he drove straight ahead while honking to gain possession of the lane.  I couldn’t drive here, my road rage would be absolutely out of this world.  They don’t get mad here though, they just honk and honk and honk and honk….it never stops, nor does it actually accomplish anything.